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| doubt is a funny thing it can make people do crazy things. it can make you angry an the person you cherish most. I can make you feel so low that you wish someone would just pave a road over you. but the worst this is it makes you think your not good enught your not up to the standards of everyday life. I hate it I wish i could be free of it. odubt is like a frigin boomerang it hits you and you try and deny it and throw it away but it just comes right back and smacks you upside the head.i dnot no what the hell i am ranting about.It could be because i am doubting college. it might be because soemone i know anad love dose not give her self enught credit that she is constantly beating her self up for not doing how she should and if she would use the energy that she puts into complainging and blameing her self and applyed it to studying i think she would do great. in my eyes she is and always will be great.doubt can make even the strongest man cry.(not crying just saying it can).wow i need a life. i realized i am addicted to tv. i tryed to study and i could not help but watch tv instead.Rant Over! | | |
| Ok this dose not have anything realy to do with tomarow as much as it dose the past. befoer i got into college i applyed to three schools csi which is a good school but it was basicaly a back up. Second was st johns which i am curently attending dont get me wrong the school is great.hahahah o know that this is kinda straying from the point but i miss erin TT_TT. Ok back to topic. i love photography(i know this dose not seem like getting back to topic but it is)and i applyed to a great art school for photography and i was totaly in and all set to go but i started doubting my talent /skill or what ever its called and i fizzeld out and decided to bum out on my first choice.and now i re founded my love for it. i know that i dont need to be their to do it but in my school i kinda feel outta place and i dont know i think i would love the school. This is not like a serious problem like kids starving but its my life and i think its important. teaching is something i love to its what i am in st johns for but i dont know what i am doing any more its so confuseing. i feel like a fat kid in a frute and veggy store(sorry to anyone who takes offence to that thats the only way i could explain well i could say a blond girl in a library or a bum in a expencive hotel. Ok now for current events i am curently inrolled in st johns college and having a splended time. erin is an hour and a half away all my friends are basicaly far away. so i have the few friends who go to st johns with me and thats it. i know she loves me and i trust her completely but some times i am not sure we will get threw 4 years of colege.it would be awsome and it will be the geratest thing to happen to me ever. I am not planning on giving up or anything i would do anyhting for her i llove her so much. its realy hard on bolth of us. i respect her wanting to live the college life and all and we are great to geather so theirs no reason to be apart and i am glad.we will do all we can for each other and most likely we will make it because i love her and she loves me. getting on a diffrent subject yesterday was manganext it was super i got to see cosplayers in a humansize chess match it was cool i dont know who won TT_TT hahaha we went to find chrissy.i think i have talked enught for tonught^^. | | |
| I am not even sure if thats spelt write but only on person is going to get the title so for the rest of you its from a play the zoo story. Its about these 2 men one an uppercase guy reading his book on a park bench "its my bench spencer!!". The other man is a preminint transient lol. my head feels like the first time i read that play i have no clue what the hell is going on around me.i wish things were like when i was back in highschool everyone was here and hung out all the time yes i have time to write silly web journal things cause noone hangs out!!!! i have no clue what the hell i am blabbing on about .... their must be something interesting going on am my head ... o the other day i was on the phone with my lovely!!^^ and i closed my eyes and i saw the most random thing in the world.Big-foot was in a tree(not to random yet) but he was sitting on a deck in the tree(starting to get a little random) and he had a huge sling shot and at least a hundred cooked turkeys(realy frigin random) and he was shooting them at none other then king mother f'in kong(hehe dont hate me because my mind is beautiful) yeh i thing bigfoot was jelious of the kong he was stealing his spotlight "poor bigfoot". no one cares about the big foot any more ever since he married the lock ness monster noone has seen him TT_TT *sniff* dam bitch murdered him!! or just naggeed him to death (girls will do that to ya hehehehe) | | |
| wow . . . it sucks when you come to the realization that basicaly everyone who means something to you is eather far away or you hardly see them due to the fact that they prefer to be inside alone all the time.it is a realy crappy feeling looking threw your phone book and trying to call people and the eather never ansewr or dont.2 poeple who i was realy close with anr basicaly out of my life due to the fact that they dont like being out of their house and i realy miss them.what stinks just as much is their is actualy a girl who cares about me and she is far away so i sit here in my room alone due to the fact that everyone i care about is gone | | |
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